Sexual Practices
What is ‘good sex’? Something between two people in a loving relationship or something that keeps adding variety and a range of new experiences with varied partners? And how much do advertising, magazines or peer pressure encourage us to explore or to become dissatisfied with what we’ve got (or haven’t)? Do people then go and buy what they can’t get at home? Are those involved in the sex industry forced into selling more extreme sexual services if they are to continue to be able to make the money they need?
Swinging
Swinging can involve an array of experiences, including anything from watching another couple having sex, to swapping partners, to group sex with a number of people. These may or may not involve same-sex experiences. Where they do happen, these would be much more likely to be between women. Swinging affords many more opportunities for women to explore sex with other women, or for men to watch their female partners having sex with another woman than for men to explore their bisexuality.
Depending on one’s level of self esteem and trust in one’s partner, swinging could be fertile ground for jealousy and feeling threatened. If you are not secure in your partner's attraction to you, seeing them attracted to and turned on by another person could be devastating. Similarly, the opportunity to see lots of other people without clothes on and having sex may not be as much of a turn on if you are insecure about your own body or sexual technique and can't help but compare yourself unfavourably with others. Your self esteem would need to be able to cope with the constant possibility of rejection. Entering a swinging situation could decrease the level of intimacy between you and your partner, with each of you having some of your needs fulfilled outside the relationship, so possibly distancing you emotionally. The flip side of a relationship based on truth and openness might be that the very honesty you value is too painful and destructive to hear.
Other possible difficulties could occur where there is a real mismatch in who holds the power in the relationship, for example when swinging is what one partner wants and the other goes along with it to please them, or if one is more into it than the other and puts pressure on to continue the lifestyle. See this Channel 4 item.
Due to the demand from men for swinging and the lower take up by women, many swinging clubs are using sex workers to try and even the numbers. This can be a lucrative if demanding night’s work for a woman; she may well be expected to have sex with around 14 men in one session.
Listen to the visit of a reporter to a swinging venue and the debate as to whether or not this empowers women
or read about another visit.
Dogging
What is dogging? Public sex, usually outdoors, that sometimes involves the voyeurs joining in. Though dogging started in the UK, it is spreading very quickly across the world.
There's a lot of controversy about where exactly the term "dogging" comes from. Some of the possible answers are as follows:
Dogging = watching or following
The word "dogging" has always had the connotation of following or watching. Here's a quote from Moby Dick: ‘I said nothing to Queequeg of his being behind, but passed on with my comrade, anxious to see whether the stranger would turn the same corner that we did. He did; and then it seemed to me that he was dogging us, but with what intent I could not for the life of me imagine.’
This sense comes from the idea of a hunting dog following closely its prey. So some people have surmised that "dogging" comes from the idea of people "doggedly" watching people having sex in public, or perhaps searching out people having sex in people. It is thought the term dogging originated in the early 1970s to describe men who spied on couples having sex outdoors – these men would “dog” the couples’ every move and watch them.
Sex Outdoors = Like Dogs?
Some people suggest that the term "dogging" comes from the fact that people are having sex outdoors without concern if others are watching, similar to how dogs might have sex in a park setting.
The origin of "dogging" is definitely British. In American slang, the term "dogging" means something quite different: criticizing someone.
Dogging Sex Laws
In the UK, public sex laws and their enforcement had previously been aimed mainly at "cottagers" or gay males having sex in public lavatories, etc. The Sexual Offences Act has shown a sweeping reform of many sex laws including those applying to public sex, exhibitionism, and voyeurism. The Act has also removed language from public sex laws that specifies homosexual activity, so the laws apply equally to gays and heterosexuals.
The reformed sex laws outlaw sex in public lavatories altogether. However, it appears that in the case of other public sex, exposing oneself, and voyeurism, the definition of a crime depends on persons being viewed without knowledge or consent, or being forced to view an activity without giving consent. It is not clear how these laws would affect doggers if everyone involved is a willing participant. Of course, because children cannot be considered consenting under the law, if any child witnesses the activity, then it would be considered criminal. It would also be criminal if an unwary person happened by, caught sight of you, and took offence.
See: http://www.dogging-central.com/
Fetish/Sadomasochism
Sadomasochism is a paraphilia that combines both sadistic and masochistic sexual behavioural patterns.
The main characteristic of sadomasochism is the eroticising of pain.
What appears to the outsider to be painful, even very painful, is experienced as somewhat painful but mostly pleasurable and very sexually arousing to the sadomasochist.
The sadist in the sadomasochistic pair is the person who inflicts the pain or punishment; the masochist is the person who submits to the pain, humiliation or control of his or her partner.
Sadomasochistic sexual encounters usually occur in the context of scripted scenes that simulate interactions between master or mistress and slave, employer and servant-maid, teacher and student, owner and horse or dog, and parent and child.
Sadomasochists may wear black leather or rubber attire. Some gay males and heterosexuals engage in a genre of sadomasochism known as "leathersex", wearing key chains or coloured handkerchiefs symbolizing the role being played. Wearing keys on the left side indicates that the individual is a sadist; on the right indicates that he or she prefers the role of masochist.
Sadomasochists tend to alternate between the masochistic and sadistic roles. In milder form, without overt cruelty or bodily punishment, dominance and submissive behaviours may be found in many relationships, or may be an element of fantasy life.
Although sadomasochistic acts in their extreme forms can be physically and psychologically dangerous, the majority of people engaging in these behaviours do so with an understanding of the risks and stay within carefully predetermined limits.
|
